IN THE SHOES OF THE FELLOWSHIP!
by Xx-AnGeLiC dEvIl-xX
Summary: 8 girls end up in Middle-eath...but they don't meet the fellowship, because they find themselves IN thier bodies instead! Watch how they completley ruin each member's reputation with thier girly attitudes! (or not...)
1. The Spell and sparing the life of JOJO

Hey hey! Thanks for being interested and reading my story. Now first, lemme introduce you to the group,  
  
Ral (Me! Ral's my nickname, by the way.): has brown hair and green eyes. Also pretty loud and can be in certain times, very hyper. Also, not ashamed of embarrassing herself (Well...it depends) and most of her teachers hate her.  
  
Shirel: Has really curly dirty-blonde hair and baby blue eyes. Yah, she's fun to hang around with (well, all of them are!). You might sometimes think she's in a bad mood just cuz she's quite but she's really looking for the perfect time to smack you hard across the head! Anyways, she's also a great actress and boy-crazy. *choughchough*Eminem*coughcough*!  
  
Angelia: Brow hair, brown eyes and dark skin. She loves Legolas and is an extremely good imitator and an actress. She's a drama queen! ^.~  
  
Tamara: Black curly hair and brown eyes. Also a fan of Eminem, Nelly and a whole list full of rappers. Hmm...she's really loud and hyper! Also sometimes stubborn and bitchy, but we still love her anyway!  
  
Zainab: Dark brown hair and brown eyes, tan skin. VERY paranoid! Her hair is also static-y!  
  
Romina: Brow eyes and only God knows what color her real hair his from how many times she dyed it! Hmm...I think it's brown. She's very uncomfortable in her own skin and always wants to be someone else. Also a fan of J-Lo.  
  
Inga: Her hair was I think blonde, then she dyed it to orange and now it's red. I'm not sure what her real eye-color is, because they keep changing (from hazel, to blue, to green). Anyways, she's a really good writer and sometimes is on the dark side. She's intrested in witchcraft! n.n  
  
Shera: She has dark hair, eyes and skin. Very funny but she's also a tomboy. Her favorite quote; 'you're so sad!!' lol.  
  
*~*  
  
IN THE SHOES OF THE FELLOWSHIP, chapter one  
  
*~*  
"Hey!" Cried Shirel. "Make with the popcorn!"  
  
"Yes, master. Here you go, master." Said Ral sarcastically as she threw the bowl of popcorn and it fell all over Shirel. "Anything else MASTER?"  
  
"Yeah, how about cleaning the mess you just made?" Shirel said as she ate some popcorn on her shirt.  
  
"I'm not your servant!"  
  
"You just were."  
  
"Bitch."  
  
"BitchiER." Shirel retorted sticking out her tongue.  
  
"BitchIEST!"  
  
"Guys shut up and both of you clean the mess." Tamara said. "If my mom sees this, she's gonna kill ya."  
  
"SHE did it." Ral pointed an accusing finger at Shirel.  
  
"What the hell? I threw it at myself and made a huge mess???!" Shirel yelled throwing more popcorn on the floor.  
  
"ARE YOU GONNA SHUT UP ANY TIME NOW!!!!" Yelled Angelia. She was on the edge of her seat with the TV's remote clutched in her hands, watching every scene the movie was playing, carefully.  
  
Ral jumped out of her seat and joined Angelia. They began to recite all the lines of the movie they were watching, which was lord of the Rings. "One ring to rule them all. One ring to find them. One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them."  
  
They mimicked Gandalf's lines in the beginning of the movie.  
  
Zainab rolled her eyes. "This is really stupid. How can you like movies like that? It's so....ewww. And look at Gandalf! He's got more wrinkles than a raisin!"  
  
"That's because he's old you dumbass." Shera pointed out. "You're so sad."  
  
"What are you talking about!? Gandalf's hot!" Tamara said as she picked popcorn off the floor.  
  
All of them stared at her with wide eyes except for Ral.  
  
"What??" Tamara said innocently. "I was joking, man you guys are lame."  
  
"Actually I wasn't surprised when you said that. I mean you told me before that you found our 60 year old math teacher sexy!!" Ral said.  
  
"I WAS JUST JOKING!!" Tamara jumped out of her seat.  
  
"Ok, whoa. That was a joke too. Now who's lame?" Ral said.  
  
"Oh go fuck a cow."  
  
"No thanks I don't do your job."  
  
"Hey guys, look at this." Inga said as she lifted up a book.  
  
"An idiot's guide to Wicca and Witchcraft?" Shirel read the title.  
  
"No look at this page." Inga said as she opened it to a page. "It says that this certain spell can take you to a different dimension. To a different world. Isn't that cool?"  
  
"Yeah..." Romina said slowly.  
  
Ral and Angelia looked at each other then ran up to Inga. "Take us to Middle-earth! Take us to Middle-earth! Take us to Middle-earth! Take us to Middle-earth! Take us to Middle-earth! Take us to Middle-earth!"  
  
"There's no way in HELL that you're taking me there." Zainab said crossing her arms.  
  
"You actually believe in that shit?" Tamara said.  
  
"You never know." Said Shera.  
  
"Ok, it says that all the people in the room must hold each other's hands and circle around three black candles--"  
  
"I got black candles!" Tamara said as she ran out of the room and came back with 3 large candles.  
  
"Oh God, we're actually gonna do it?" Zainab said rolling her eyes.  
  
"Yeah what's the harm?" Shera said as she put the three candles together on the floor.  
  
"I looooooooooooooooooooove Alex." Romina said out of nowhere which was completely out of subject.  
  
"What next?" Ral asked.  
  
"Well you then chant this paragraph but in the middle of it, you must add the name of the place you wanna go to." Inga said reading. "You keep saying it over and over until the flame on the candles turn purple, so then we say 'So mote it be' and we're there!"  
  
"That's so simple..." Angelia said.  
  
"Um..I don't know if I should do Black magick." Ral said looking around.  
  
"Why not?" Romina asked.  
  
"I dunno."  
  
"It's not black magick. We don't even know if it's gonna work. Obviously Lord of the Rings is just a story and Middle-earth doesn't exists." Shirel said as she eyes Ral and Angelia.  
  
"Wait guys," Inga said. "I'm not sure if it's gonna work actually. It says that thing can go wrong if you don't have the appropriate tools for it."  
  
"What are you talking about? I got you the 3 candles!" Tamara said.  
  
"No in order for it to work properly, we have to do it in month that is an odd number and at night time in a full moon. We have to sacrifice a chicken and use it's blood to put around the candles."  
  
"NOOO!! I DON'T WANT TO KILL JO-JO!!" Romina yelled.  
  
"You have a pet chicken called Jo-Jo??" Ral asked.  
  
"Um...maybe." Romina said as she grinned stupidly.  
  
"Riiiiiight...ok." Inga said. "Ok well, if we don't do what the instructions say, there's gonna be changes when we get there."  
  
"IF we get there," Zainab pointed out.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Guys, I don't want changes to haapeeeeeen..." Ral whined.  
  
"This is so stupid." Shirel sighed. "Ok, let's just do the thing with the candle and that's it? I don't wanna waste my time on killing a chicken under a moon and say so gay chants."  
  
"DON'T YOU SAY THAT ABOUT MY SPELLS!!" Inga yelled.  
  
"Ok, people. Let's just do the damn thing. It's sorta intresting." Tamara said as she lit up the candles and turned off the lights.  
  
"That didn't sound right..." Angelia said.  
  
"You're so dirty minded." Shera said.  
  
Ral jumped up and pointed a finger up to the sky. "It is nothing but a theoretical term that all teenagers must go through. The hormones of a Teen's increase whilst their age."  
  
"Riiiiiiiiiiight..." Shirel. "Do you even know what you're saying??"  
  
"Um...no. Actually what I meant was that in our teen years, we all have dirty minds."  
  
"Ok whatever." Inga put the book in the center and the 7 other girls gathered around and formed a circle. "You read this and at the fourth line where it says 'place' you say middle-earth, ok?"  
  
They nodded and held hands. "No one laugh. If you do, it's gonna break the spell."  
  
They all looked at the book and then at the candles and chanted together,  
  
"Here we stand together, Goddesses of fate,  
  
Father time, are we early or are we late?  
  
Take us to a different time or a different place,  
  
Send us to Middle-earth with your grace,  
  
Take us there, far away from here,  
  
The place we would never fear,  
  
Oh Goddesses, Father, hear our chant...  
  
We are the only ones favoring this request,  
  
And we are brave enough to do this quest,  
  
So grant us this wish,  
  
Take us to Middle-earth,"  
  
They kept repeating the same chant over and over until suddenly, the flames started turning a light purple then to a deep violet. All their eyes widened and Romina was about to scream but Inga cut her off by saying, "So mote it be! So mote it be!"  
  
Dark air started to rush around them and the atmosphere was getting heavy. They felt themselves falling...falling in an endless hole.  
  
Suddenly they felt the ground (well what do you know? I guess it's not endless after all...!) and a blackout.  
  
*~*  
  
Zainab opened her eyes slowly and saw rocks and small mountains everywhere. "What the hell...?" She mumbled.  
  
She tried to get up but she felt herself sorta too fat and short to be able to do so. "Oh great, I gained at least 50 pounds in one day!"  
  
But then she felt something tickling her neck. She touched her face and there was something hairy one her neck. She tried to tug on it but it wouldn't come off.  
  
"What the fuck is going on!?!?"  
  
Zainab forced herself up but she felt so weird inside. Her vision a bit better, she spotted a shiny helmet and ran up to it. Seeing her reflection, her eyes widened and let out a horrifying ear-piercing scream which sound strangely like a man's... (as if it already didn't...naa I'm joking!)  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
What is Zainab? Why is she so scared? Where are the others? What are they doing??!? And WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN NEXT?!?!!?!?  
  
*~*  
  
So...what did you think? Hope it wasn't that bad!! Please review so I may continue!  
  
And if you are interested, you may also read my other stories, 'Kill her! PLEASE! For the love of Legolas!', 'Elven boi and other songs!' and 'I'm a natural blond so please speak slowly!'  
  
--Xox  
  
Angelic devil 


	2. Meow! I er mean introductions!

Thank you for reviewing people! Ral vantz to thank you and vill answerrr you individually. Ze review replies are at ze bottom. Hope you like this chapter too. ^.~  
  
*~*  
  
"A little to the left..."  
  
Ral heard herself say and she also heard some giggles. She slowly opened her eyes and saw three women with pointy ears around her. One of them was massaging her back, the other was feeding her grapes and the third was playing a lyre.  
  
She immediately jumped out of the bed in shock. She sort of felt graceful...strange to say since she was always clumsy. "EWW! What the hell?! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO ME??!"  
  
The woman who was massaging her looked at her in a puzzled way, "What ever is wrong my lord? You asked me to massage your back muscles for you... And I gladly accepted..." She added batting her eyelashes at her.  
  
"What? I asked you that? Am I like in a lesbian salon or something?...wait a minute...did you just say 'my lord'?" Ral asked.  
  
The woman nodded and stood up.  
  
Ral took a step back, "AND DO I LOOK LIKE A MAN TO YOU?!?!?"  
  
The woman nodded again and got closer to Ral, "Oh yes, my lord. You are a man. A MANLY man. I have waited for so long to tell thee my secret. How I think of thee every night. How my heart is always full of woe for I am not able to have thee in my arms, for I am but a mere elf-maid."  
  
"Oh God! Get away from me!" Ral said as she pulled away from the woman's arms that were holding her and tried to run away.  
  
"You can run but you cannot hide from the eyes of the Elven maid Merenwen Calafalas!" The woman yelled as she dropped to her knees. "For I will always be there in your room to fluff your pillows and massage you!"  
  
"I'm NOT A LESBIAN!!" Ral yelled as she tried to find a way out or the room. She saw large double doors decorated in flowers and vines and she burst out of them.  
  
"Oh my friggin'...god..." Ral gasped as she gaped at the place she just entered. It seemed to be some form of hallway that was so high, a giant could fit in. It was beautiful, even for a hallway, which was a rare thing to say because Ral for some reason was scared of them and found them evil. The closest thing she can relate them to were the ones in Rivendell in the movie Lord of the Rings, only they were more beautiful.  
  
People passing her were bowing down to her. 'Ok...this is so weird...' She thought. 'Did the spell really work? Am I in Middle-earth? And did that woman say she was an elf?? And oh God, please don't tell me the people here are gay and lesbian!'  
  
Suddenly she heard someone call out, "Legolas!"  
  
Ral jumped, "Legolas?! WHERE!! WHEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRREEEEEE!!!??!"  
  
A man who looked strangely like our favorite elf only seemed a bit older walked up to Ral, "There you are, son."  
  
"OH MY GOD!!" Ral jumped into the man's arms. "LEGOLAS!! ME LUUUUUURVES YOU!! ME WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNTSSSSSS YOU!! You're mine! My own! My preciousssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!"  
  
"Are you feeling well, Legolas?" The man asked in concern. "Don't you know you're father?"  
  
"What the hell are you saying, dear husband?--Yes, I'm married to you now, got a problem with that?" Said Ral as she tried to kiss him.  
  
He pushed her away in disgust, "LEGOLAS! Get a hold of yourself! You are a prince and you should behave yourself properly in public for Elbereth's sake!"  
  
"Are you saying that I'm Legolas?"  
  
The man who seemed to think he's Thranduil nodded even though he was puzzled by his son's reactions.  
  
Ral looked at her body--no wonder she felt all weird and different inside! She was wearing a man's white tunic decorated with silver vines and gray- ish blue leggings.  
  
"SHUT! UP!" She said unbelievably.  
  
"I beg your pardon?" Thranduil said, frowning.  
  
Ral looked around and ran to one of the many mirrors that were in the hallway and peered in it. There she saw a reflection of a slender male elf with blue eyes and long blond hair staring back at her. She began jumping up and down and screamed happily. "MY HUNNY BUNNY IS HERE!! OH MY GOD! HE'S LOOKING AT ME!!"  
  
The people around her stared at her (or was it him...? ) strangely as they covered their ears from the noise.  
  
"Legolas? Are you alright?" Thranduil asked as he eyed his son who was now doing baby talk to the mirror as he kissed it.  
  
"Who's the sexy beast? Who? You are! You are!"  
  
"LEGOLAS!"  
  
Ral looked at him angrily as if he just interrupted her from something important (which yes he did) and cleared her throat, "Yes dear Legolas-look- alike-but-is-not-him-because-you're-not-really-him father?"  
  
Thranduil sighed and shook his head, "I really do not know what is wrong with you but you must come with me."  
  
"No wait! I have to go to the bathroom for a close-up!" Ral yelled as she hugged the mirror.  
  
"Not now! We have a council to attend." He said as his face wrinkled at what Ral really meant. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her away as she desperately tried to snatch one of the mirrors on the way.  
  
*~*  
  
"Yes mommy...I do want ice-cream. Can I please have some? They sure look tasty...What? You have to go to Taiwan? Already? But I thought that you're leaving when Leonardo De Vinci comes back home so we can have our Christmas turkey..." Shirel mumbled as she stirred.  
  
Suddenly she heard birds softly chirp and sing, and the smell of flowers and leaves crept up her nose. "What the hell? Since when do you sing like that?"  
  
Her eyes slowly opened and she found herself up on a thick tree branch. "What the fuck?" She looked down and her vision was now clear. She screamed, lost her balance and fell face-flat on the ground.  
  
"Oh... where's thick grass when you need it?" She said getting up as she spat some dead grass out of her mouth. "And what the hell am I doing in a forest? Wasn't I in Tam's house a while ago?"  
  
She spread out her hand to look at her watch for the time but she wasn't wearing it. Suddenly, she noticed that her voice was changed. "Oh my god...what's going on?"  
  
Shirel looked at her hands and noticed the long muscular fingers. She ran up to a calm lake and on the way, she noticed a large sheath dangling from her belt. 'Ok...I'm defenetly in my own clothes.' She thought as she looked into the water and indeed saw a man staring back at her. "What the fuck? Is that Viggo Mortensen?"  
  
She looked behind her...but no one was there. She looked back into the water again and the man was staring back at her. Shirel slowly got up, breathed slowly, shut her eyes and mumbled to herself, "Ok...calm down. Ever thing's gonna be alright. Don't panick."  
  
But she couldn't hold herself so she let out a horrifying scream. (Yes, when I say horrifying I MEAN horrifying...Imagine a guy screaming the way she did...)  
  
All the birds fluttered away and the forest was silent. Even the flowers closed up in fright...  
  
*~*  
  
Angelia found herself, for no reason, dancing on top of the table, singing a beer song to a crowd gathered around her.  
  
"I once had math teacher,  
  
His name was Mr. Lemay!  
  
He's sixty years, with huge red ears,  
  
And he was really gay!  
  
But my friend finds him sexy,  
  
She's very in love with him!  
  
I know it's dim,  
  
But she'll marry him,  
  
In the month of May!"  
  
The people around her clunked their beer mugs together and cheered as Angelia embarrassedly climbed down the table. Strange...she felt a little short. And all the people around her had curly hair and huge shoeless feet.  
  
Suddenly a crazy thought perked up in her head, 'Am I in Middle-earth? In Bilbo's party??'  
  
A stout girl with huge red cheeks and yes, she had curly hair and big feet walked up to her. "I really liked that song, Pippin. Though I did not know you had a math teacher. And what is Math anyway? Is it another one of your incomprehensible invented words?"  
  
"My name's not Pippin, it's Angelia." She said.  
  
"What are you saying, silly? I know who you are! You used to live next door to me!" She said. "Don't you remember Polly Bumbleroot?"  
  
"Um...no. Sorry, I think you got the wrong person..." Angelia said apologetically.  
  
Polly was about to say something but someone cut her off.  
  
"Hey you! How do you know about Lemay!?"  
  
Angelia turned around and saw... "Merry? MERRY!?! As in DOMINIC!?!"  
  
"What are you talking about? My name's Shera Robinson."  
  
"What? Haha, good joke." Angelia said. "Can I have you're autograph!?"  
  
"Hey listen buddy," Merry-look-alike said. "I ain't Merry, and you ain't that Pippin ok? I don't even know what's going on! And I don't wanna believe anything that is happening incase this is 'Candid Camera' and I end up making a fool out of myself in public! So cut crap and tell me who you are."  
  
"You cut the crap!" Angelia said. "You're Merry or probably Dominic Monaghan in costume who is trying to make a fool out of me. I'm not Pippin! I'm Angelia."  
  
"Ok, shut up and stop being sad. Now you're trying to confuse ME! You're not Angelia--look!" Shera picked up a silver plate and held it up for Angelia to see.  
  
Angelia looked into it and saw a reflection that looked like the actor Billy Boyd. "No...No...no." She said slowly as she touched her face.  
  
"Yes, yes, yes." Shera said.  
  
"Oh yeah? Look at yourself!" Angelia snatched the plate and pointed it at the Hobbit.  
  
Shera looked at screamed. "What's going on!?"  
  
They both looked at each other and said in unison, "The spell!"  
  
Suddenly they heard an old man swearing loudly.  
  
*~*  
  
Tamara sat quietly smoking a pipe and stroking her beard...wait a minute...  
  
'I'm doing what??' She thought.  
  
She looked down and saw a large gray beard hiding her chest. "Eww! What the hell!?"  
  
She took something off her head that was bothering her which turned out to be a tall pointy hat. "Something weird is going on..."  
  
Tamara got up and her gray robes swayed with her. She touched her hair and was shocked to discover it had tons of tangles not to mention it was messy and unmanageable (doesn't Tam always say that it was in the first place? I actually like her hair!).  
  
"Ooooh, really bad hair day." She muttered.  
  
"Gandalf?" A voice said. "Are you feeling well? You sure are acting strange now."  
  
Tamara looked down and saw Bilbo! She stared at him stupidly for what seemed to be like an hour. "Did you just call me Gandalf?"  
  
"Yes, who else do you think you are?" Bilbo said. "Gandalf Greyham. Don't you know your name?"  
  
Tamara looked around slowly at the people dancing around and sighed, "This is unbelievable, I must be dreaming..."  
  
Bilbo ran up to her and pinched her.  
  
"Ouch! Get away from me you little furry thing!"  
  
"Gandalf? You don't seem to be acting like yourself, lately..." Bilbo said in concern.  
  
"I'M NOT GANDALF!!" Tamara yelled. Suddenly she began jumping up and down in anger trying to rip out the beard.  
  
Hobbits around her looked at her and began laughing. One little Hobbitling (am I even aloud to use that as a word??) tugged at her mother's dress saying, "Mommy! Mommy! Look at Gandalf! He's crrrrrrrrraaaaaaazy."  
  
Tamara stopped what she was doing as realization struck her on the head, an I mean literally, because one Hobbit-kid threw a half-eaten apple on her head as the realization did so.  
  
"The spell went wrong because we didn't sacrifice JO-JO under Mr. Moon- moon!" Tamara said as her mouth formed a huge 'O'. Suddenly she began kicking everything in her way angrily (yes, including Bilbo...) as she yelled in rage and stomped the ground.  
  
"Fackin' shit! Fack! I don't wanna be here! Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackkkkkk!! Fooooooook! Oh my fackin' God!!" She yelled on top of her voice...  
  
*~*  
  
How was it? I sure had fun writing it! ^.^  
  
Next up, Romina and Inga. Can you guess who they are? No I'm serious, if you don't know they turn out to be, then you're definitely a dud. (Oh sorry, it's because lack of sleep that I'm like this!)  
  
*~*  
  
YOU HAVE TO HEAR THE SONG FROM THE LORD OF THE RINGS CD, IT'S CALLED 'REQUIREM FOR A DREAM!' IT'S THE BEST!! I'm in lurve with it... *sighs happily and runs to get the CD*  
  
*~*  
  
Anyways, review replies!  
  
__*nAnCy*__: Lol, Thankies!  
  
La bomba Latina: Now you're gonna get mad at me, lol. You weren't in this chapter at all! But I promise you'll be in the next one. And I was PRETTY sure you had a pet chicken. Hmm...He probably got chick-napped and eaten by someone... (poor JO-JO)  
  
zainab!: Lol, thanks. And yes you WERE bitchy to me last night when camp- boy came online. *picks up flamethrower* Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go fly to Toronto! *leaps in the air and flies like Superman*  
  
shirel: Lol, wow you always get happy when I mention you're name in my stories (Which I barely do) ! Anyways thanks, and you better review for this one!  
  
Chaveline: That was my ONLY chapter. Anyways, hope this chapter was good! ^.^  
  
Junny-juju-bug: Yay, thankies! Yes, we're a bunch of crazy nutcases sometimes. You should see us in the hallway. We sort of scare innocent people passing by...  
  
Butterfly: Coolies! You wanna put my story on ur site! Sure, go ahead! BUT, you must give me the link of your site when it's up! ^.^  
  
Nevweh: Yay, thanks! Mary-Jane? Isn't that the woman from Tarzan? I thought it was Mary-Sue...  
  
Dimostiel: Hehe, I think you were my first reviewer right? Anyways, hope you liked this chapter! Thanks! 


	3. More chappys! Oh and um, more craziness!

Sorry it took a long time to write! I don't know why it did. I just didn't feel like doing anything these days (but now I'm ok! ^.^) and Romina was constantly nagging me to put more of her in the story. *glares at Romina*  
  
Anyways, hope you like this chappy!  
  
*~*  
  
"Oh come on Sam!" Inga said as she pushed a blond short man into a woman and they began dancing and twirling.  
  
Romina was spinning round and round, not even caring how the hell she ended up here. Someone had pushed her into some woman and she began dancing. After a while, she could barley stand up.  
  
"Ooooh....amiga...(did I mention Romi's Spanish?)I'm so dizzy." Romina said trying to hold herself from barfing in the woman's face. "Please stop...."  
  
The woman stopped and Romi fell on the ground. "Oooh...my stomach."  
  
A man with black hair and amazing blue eyes appeared next to her, "Are you ok, Romina?"  
  
"Who...you?"  
  
"It's Inga."  
  
"You're not Inga! She's not short!" Romina said getting up but then fell on the ground.  
  
"Yes I am, well actually I'm not in my real body. We're now in Middle- earth. I knew the spell would work! Isn't it cool! But since we didn't do everything right, a minor mishap happened and now we're in the bodies of the characters in the movie or the book instead." Inga explained.  
  
Romina shrugged and grinned. "Ok!" She said, though she didn't really understand a thing. "I have to go pee now."  
  
"Not now!" Inga said as she grabbed Romina's arm. "We have to find the others!"  
  
"No! But I reeeeaaally have to gooooo. I drank too much coooooke before." Romina whined.  
  
"Come on! This is important! Besides, would you even wanna go when you're in the body of Samwise Gamgee?"  
  
"Come again?" Romina said stupidly.  
  
Inga sighed and dragged Romina between the crowd just when they heard an old wizard yelling and screaming the same way Tamara obviously does.  
  
*~*  
  
"Now about the dark presence that has been in Mirkwood for quite a while." Thranduil began.  
  
Ral rolled her eyes as she sank into her chair from boredom. Her, Thranduil and other elves were sitting around a long round table. She felt like she was part of Knights of the Round for some reason--sure that would be fun! But this was plain BORING! Thranduil was talking for like--what? Two hours now? And NOW he gets to the point.  
  
"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts! Here they are standing in a row! Bum- bum-bump. Big ones, small ones." She sang to herself. "Some as big as your head--"  
  
"Legolas?"  
  
"Where!?" Ral jumped out of her seat looking around.  
  
Thranduil cleared his throat and Ral looked back. "Legolas, what are you singing? What is as big as my head?"  
  
"Nothing..." She mumbled.  
  
"Well I pray you stop singing and listen to the council. This is very important." Thranduil said and continued talking about the Shadow of Sauron, or something like that, that was in Mirkwood.  
  
Ral sighed and looked beside her. Sitting next to her was some really cute male elf with dark brown hair and Hazel eyes. He was probably part of the important elves because of his eye color. Hazel or blue eyes were exceptionally rare, only up to 2 to 10 times in an entire generation would Wood elves have an eye color like that. She stared at him for a while, and when he noticed, he gave her a strange look and shifted in his seat.  
  
"What? I'm not pretty enough for you?" Ral frowned.  
  
"Nay my prince. It's just that..." He whispered back but his voice trailed off.  
  
"Oh, so now you're calling me a guy?" Ral said loudly.  
  
The council looked at them and Ral just smiled innocently and said, "Sorry."  
  
She looked back at the Hazel-eyed elf beside her and made a rude face. He looked strangely at her again and she sighed in frustration.  
  
Ral began poking him and whispering in the tune of 'the song that never ends.'  
  
"My prince, please stop." He said rubbing his shoulder where she poked him but then she started doing it on his leg.  
  
"This is the poke that never ends! It goes on and on your leg!" She sang annoyingly. "And if you--"  
  
"LEGOLAS!" Thranduil yelled banging the table.  
  
Ral jumped and immediately stopped.  
  
"I DO NOT KNOW WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU THIS MORNING BUT I WANT YOU OUT OF MY COUNSIL UNTIL YOU GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!!!"  
  
Ral stared at him, got up and when out of the double-doors muttering, "Ok ok, you don't have to act like some rabid Elf who ate Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy and is now suffering from New Variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease!"  
  
Thranduil stared at her dumbstruck, "what!?" but Ral was already out of the room.  
  
*~*  
  
"Ok, ok. Listen..." Tamara said pacing back and forth. "So we...ok. Ok...we did a spell and ok...listen...ok."  
  
"We ARE listening! And stop saying ok, OK?!" Shera yelled.  
  
Angelia, Romina, Shera, Tamara, Inga found each other and were now talking about their situation. Tamara was panicking madly and Romina had no idea what's going on (not that she cared...) and just munched on a piece of Honey bread.  
  
"So we landed in Middle-earth--are you sure this is real?! Couldn't this be some huge prank?" Tamara yelled. Bilbo was standing near them listening intently.  
  
"What kind of person would pay a bunch of midgets to dress like Hobbits, make them dance around in a Lord of the Rings replica set and dress us like characters from the movie for a joke?!" Angelia asked.  
  
"I dunno, ok?!" Tamara yelled angrily, then she spotted Bilbo near her and shooed him away.  
  
"What was that for?" Shera asked.  
  
"He was annoying me."  
  
"He didn't do anything to you!"  
  
"Shut up and let me go back to the point." Tamara snapped and began stroking her beard. Then she realized what she was doing and immediately stopped. "Ok, so if this isn't a joke, what do we do now?"  
  
"It's all your fault Romina!" Yelled Shera. "You didn't want us to kill JO- JO!!"  
  
"No! I won't let you kill JO-JO!!" Romina yelled, her mouth full of food.  
  
"Actually Shirel's the one who said that we do the spell without full moons or dead chickens." Inga said then she pointed an accusing finger at Tamara. "And YOU said you wanted to do this spell."  
  
"What!? NO I DIDN'T!!!" Tamara yelled unbelievably.  
  
"Hey everybody! Look at me! I'm Pippin!!" Angelia yelled out of subject.  
  
"SHUT UP!" The other three yelled in unison.  
  
"Yes you did! And I quote, 'Ok, people. Let's just do the damn thing. It's sorta interesting.' " Inga said, imitating Tam's loud voice.  
  
"OH YEAH? WELL YOU GAVE US THE IDEA OF THE SPELL FIRST!!"  
  
"I WAS PLANING ON GOING TO HAWAII, NOT MIDDLE-EARTH!!"  
  
"So that means it Angelia's fault!!" Tamara glared at her.  
  
Angelia was about to yell something back just when Romina said something that actually made them think (isn't that vierd?).  
  
"Hey, what happened to Shirel, Zainab and Ral?"  
  
The fours were silent for a moment.  
  
"What if one of them were Legolas?" Angelia asked angrily. "I'll strangle them!"  
  
"I wouldn't be surprised if Ral was Sauron. They have a lot in common." Tamara said.  
  
"Ok, but since we're in the fellowship's bodies, shouldn't we stick to the script?" Inga asked as Bilbo climbed on top of a table and began saying his speech.  
  
"But I don't wanna dieee..." Tamara whined, because she knew exactly what was going to happen to Gandalf.  
  
*~*  
  
There! I'm done! Now I have to go finish other chapters for my stories. You can go check 'em out if you want! ^.^  
  
*~*  
  
Nevweh: Thanks! But I also like Mary-Sue too! I think I'm one of the few, lol.  
  
Jenny-juju-Bug: lol, it's soo funny scaring people in the Hallway! One day, Inga walked up to a bunch of girls and said, "I lowered my cholesterol." And walked away just like that. Lol, it was so funny though the girls were looking at her quietly for a while and then went away. Anyways, hmm...what school did u go to before? Lol, that way I would know if I knew you before. ^.^  
  
Chaveline: Yay, thankies! ^o^  
  
Shirel: Lol, thank thee. Ha! I didn't put u in this chapter (sorry!)  
  
__*nAnCy*__: I'm trying to write as fast as I can. Lol, not very fast am I? Anyways, hope u liked this chappy.  
  
La Bomba Latina: Awww, shucks! Thanks! And what did i tell u about that ugly nickname!? : @  
  
Eruravenne: Um...thanks!  
  
Psychoman364: Lol, yay! Thanks!  
  
Frodo Girl : Thanks! ^.^ 


	4. Everybody dance now! Or: The leaving of ...

Hey everybody! I'm REALLY sorry it took so long! You know? I got the perfect excuse! Cuz I got a crappy Report Card, ma dad completely shut off the computer for like 3 months till my mom finally talked to him. Yay! It feels so goot to be back!! ^_~  
  
*~**~*~**~**~**~*  
  
CHAPTER FOUR  
  
"Look at me..." Zainab said, looking at the helmet dejectedly. "I'm a monster. I'm a GIMLI! How the hell did this all happen?" She began sobbing loudly, her voice echoing in the dark.  
  
"Master Gimli?" Said a Dwarf with a white beard as he came out of the shadows. "What causes a grown Dwarf to cry so? And why are you staring at a helmet?"  
  
Zainab immediately got up and ran to him, grabbing him dangerously be the collar and yelling loudly, "What's going on? Why am I here? What year is this? What? How? When? Where? Why? Did I leave any out?--Shut up it doesn't matter." She put her hand on his mouth, not leaving him a chance to talk and looked into the abyss. Suddenly she slumped back on the ground and began crying again.  
  
"I don't understand..." The dwarf muttered. Suddenly he began laughing. "Oh- ho! I get it! You've been eating that dangerous weed I told you not to get near to, haven't you?"  
  
"Um...yeah..." Zainab wiped away a big tear. "Listen. My name is really Zainab. I'm a girl but some how I ended up in the body of this fat guy. I swear, me and him look nothing alike. So why the hell did I get to be the ugliest guy?"  
  
The dwarf scratched his head with a baffled look upon his face, "Eh... this is beyond my aid. Maybe I should find you a healer."  
  
"NoOoOoOoOoO!! Don't leave me aloOoOoOne!!" Zainab clung to his leg. He sighed and dragged her into the mines.  
  
Moments later, she met with a dwarf with a long brown beard. "Good day master Gimli. I hear from your friend, Biggy-Wiggy, that you have been acting strange lately."  
  
"Biggy-Wiggy?" Zainab repeated. Suddenly she began laughing. "Biggy-Wiggy!? Oh and what are you? Biggo-Ego!?!" "As a matter of fact, yes." The dwarf said while frowning.  
  
Zainab immediately stopped laughing and cleared her throat in an embarrassed way. She smiled in an awkward way and remained quite.  
  
The other two dwarfs looked at each other and Biggy-Wiggy broke the uncomfortable silence, "Gimli, what is wrong with you? You used to respect us. Now you're acting like you don't know us."  
  
"Well I don't. I mean I'm not even Gimli!" Zainab stood up on her feet. "Listen, I hate being in this body. I can't even stand looking at myself right now. Imagine what happens when I go to the bathroom!!"  
  
"What is wrong with you!? You used to be proud of your tiny--"  
  
"Oh my God, shut up! Too much information!" She yelled with large eyes.  
  
There was another period of silence when suddenly Zainab came up with a thought (surprisingly). "Ok, guys listen. If I'm in Middle-earth then my other friends must be here too. So, um...if they're really smart-- like me of course--they should be heading to Rivendell. Right? Shut up! I didn't ask you! So now, I myself should be going there. Maybe that big forehead guy can change me back to my real beautiful body."  
  
"Alright...whatever you say." Muttered Biggo-Ego. "Just one more thing: Gimly, NEVER come near my house again."  
  
Zainab looked around, "Oh, this is a house?"  
  
"Biggy-Wiggy, take him to Rivendell."  
  
"What? ME? Why not you?"  
  
"I don't want to be near him! He's lost his mind!"  
  
"Oh so now I have to do the dangerous task, right?"  
  
"Well of course! My people need me! I'm a healer."  
  
"You can't heal anything! You take Mithril, bang it on a wound with a hammer and call it healing!"  
  
So Biggy-Wiggy and Biggo-Ego argued for a while till Biggy-Wiggy lost the fight and had to take the so-called Gimli to Rivendell. The dwarf sighed one big sigh as he watched Zainab skip happily while singing 'I'm a little teapot'.  
  
*~*  
  
"There ok, he disappeared. Now all you have to do is go to his house and make sure that he doesn't take it with him." Angelia whispered.  
  
"No! I don't want to do it! If I stick to the script, I'm going to die!" Tamara muttered, stroking her beard again.  
  
"But you're coming back!" Inga yelled.  
  
"Yeah, not after I fight a huge flying bull with a whip."  
  
"How come a bull flies but not Jo-Jo?" Romina asked.  
  
"Come on! Move it!" Angelia yanked Tamara from the beard, dragged her all the way to Bilbo's doorstep and shoved her in the house.  
  
Bilbo let out a girly scream and after he saw that it was Gandalf, he sighed in relief. "Oh it's just you..."  
  
"I uh...had the feeling you were going to be here." Tamara said as she looked at the others hiding near the window.  
  
"Well, of course. I told you I was going to leave town."  
  
"Um, ok. So....how's the ring?"  
  
Angelia smacked her forehead. "That's not how it's supposed to go!"  
  
"Oh well the rings fine. Why?" Bilbo said as he finished packing.  
  
"May I have it?" Tamara smiled stupidly.  
  
"Goodness, no. It's for Frodo."  
  
"Ya, well give it to me so I can give it to him!"  
  
"Oh I understand. You're taking it so you can keep it for your self."  
  
"What? No way!" Tamara laughed and suddenly she had a serious look on her face. "Give me the ring, you little monkey!"  
  
"No! You're trying to rob me!" Bilbo began running around the house, trying to escape from Tam.  
  
The others were all staring at her with wide eyes except for Angelia who started muttering, " She's such an idiot! We ask her to do something right for once, and she completely screws it up!"  
  
Tamara stopped chasing Bilbo and suddenly became large and the room got darker, "BILBO BAGGINS! I AM NOT TRYING TO ROB YOU!!" The darkness fell and there was light again as she continued, "I'm trying to help you."  
  
"Oh, Gandalf." Bilbo jumped into her arms and began crying.  
  
"Uh...Let's not get too emotional here ok?"  
  
"At least she did that freaky thing right." Shera muttered to Angelia.  
  
Bilbo wiped his nose and picked up his bags, "I'm sorry Gandalf. I should not doubt you in anything."  
  
"Awww thanks."  
  
The hobbit walked out of the house when suddenly Tamara tackled him, "YOU STILL HAVE THE RING!!"  
  
"Ow! Ok! I'm sorry!" Bilbo shoved her of him and through the ring on the ground. "Good bye, Gandalf!" He yelled over as he ran away.  
  
"Hehe, that was easy." Tam muttered as she got up but cracked her back in the process. "OH MY GOD! I HATE BEING OLD!!!"  
  
She bent down again while muttering "It's finally mine.... my precious..." to pick up the ring and just when she touched it, she saw the large red eye and a shock threw her back on the ground.  
  
So, as not to being able to touch it, she sat on the doorstep with a nail- bat clutched in one hand, guarding the ring and the other was in a bucket of paint.  
  
"Wait a minute. Why is my hand in a bucket of paint?" Tamara asked with a surprised look upon her face.  
  
NARRATOR: Beats me. Now shut up and get back to the story.  
  
Romina, Angelia, Inga and Shera pooped-- sorry POPPED out of the bushes and ran to Tamara, who jumped and began screeching in Japanese.  
  
"Are you ok?" Shera asked.  
  
"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Just practicing Kung-foo yells. Ooooooooowwaaaaaaaaahh!!"  
  
"Ok, shut up. Let's just get going." Inga said and picked up the ring.  
  
*~*  
  
Shirel giggled as she held up a stick.  
  
"Awww..." She said as it fell from her hand. She picked it up again and began laughing and then it fell, "Awww..." The process was repeated several times as her horse stared at her with embarrassment.  
  
He neighed and Shirel snapped out of it. She got up and walked to the horse. "Here kitty, kitty... what's your name?"  
  
The horse stared at her some more then began to slowly back away. "Oh you don't have a name? Fine. I'll give you one. You shall be...EMINEM!!"  
  
'Eminem' rolled his eyes and Shirel climbed on his back. "To Mexico! Oh no wait, that place doesn't exist. Fine. To Rivendell!!"  
  
The horse neighed again and knowing his way around, trotted to Rivendell with Shirel singing the Humpty- Dumpty song...  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Well! That's the end of my retarded chapter! N-e-wayz, hope u liked it! Please review!  
  
Review Replies:  
  
*Star Girl*: Yay! Thanks!  
  
Jenny-Juju- Bug: Hehe! Thanks! Shirel came up with that song. She has the whole thing. (I know, she's weird)  
  
La Bomba Latina: Yeah, I'm sure ur gonna kill me now. Hehe, I barley put anything of u. Oh well, Sorry.  
  
Crazy zay--Zainab: Um, thanks. But I put this story so we can have fun. I don't want u nagging me about putting more of you in it. That's just stupid. Cuz ur making it sound like this whole thing revolves around you. When we meet each other in Rivendell, I'm gonna put convos of us arguing and THEN I'll make them know more about u. People don't have to know our whole life, I'm just explaining the basics. Sorry if u think I'm bitching at you but I haope ur happy cuz I put a lot of u in this chappy. And now the ppl know how weird u are. Anyways, this reply is REALLY long so I'm gonna go now.  
  
Cheveline: Hehe, it's pretty fun, isn't it?  
  
Shi Oni: Aww thanks! Too many compliments in one review! Um, I think Shirel came up with the idea. We were like talking about putting us in a fanfiction so thought of putting another boring Mary-Sue but then she suggested it, or something like that. And for the thing about Gimli saying 'For the love of Legolas' it's because it sorta has something to do with the title and I feel like Gimli and Legsy's got something going on. I mean like what happens in the end of the book-- oops can't ruin the ending for u! Ok, thanks for ur review! ^_^  
  
Shirel: *rolls eyes* That's nice shir.  
  
Aryante: Ur welcome! And thanks for the review!  
  
Nevweh: Yay! I luv him too! He's so hot! And now, I'm also into Brad Pitt and Heath Ledger.  
  
*~*  
  
Ok, Pleaze review!! 


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